africa – Personal Euphoria: Pilates & Fitness Classes in CT

Failure is the mother of success

Plank at sunset on Kili

While I can’t say I’m not bothered by failure, I can at least recognize that very often I get some of my best stories out of failures or at least times when things didn’t go as expected.

Still, failing is hard. It’s hard to accept. It’s hard to admit. It’s embarrassing. When I failed to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro those were a mixture of the emotions I experienced—embarrassment, frustration, sadness, disappointment, but also understanding and acceptance.

The moment I realized I wasn’t going to reach the top I started crying. I don’t cry that often so I’m not really used to it. And, normally if I need to cry in public I try not to. There was no holding back these tears. They just came. I’d exerted too much energy getting this far to utilize any effort holding back tears now. I’d lost control of my body, physically and emotionally. I basically cried myself down that mountain, doing the walk of shame as everyone heading up stepped aside to let me down.

They were letting me pass, but I had let myself down.

Plank Story: Hiking Mt Kilimanjaro

We are currently standing on Mt. Kili with the peak behind us. That’s how big the mountain is.

Hiking Mt Kilimanjaro was a spectacularly grand adventure and simultaneously self-inflicted torture. On the first night I accidentally peed in my sleeping bag and broke my headlamp. The sleeping bag and headlamp were both much needed tools on the mountain.

That’s me and Matt sitting on the right in the orange jacket. Photo from ready_freddy_123 on Instagram

Day Three

On Day three I wrote in my journal: When you look back on this trip as a positive experience, remember it is not. You are miserable. This is terrible. You did this to yourself. Vacation normally flies by but if you want vacation to pass slowly hike Mt. Kilimanjaro.

That was a breaking point for me. I’d been up the first two nights shivering. Lack of sleep and freezing nighttime temperatures forced me to figure out how I needed to get by on the mountain. That night I put on nearly all my clothes and threw some heat warmers into my sleeping bag and finally slept. […]