Rest and relaxation

Sometimes I feel like I’m racing through life, making lists that there is never time to complete. When I was growing up, my family would spend a week at beach. We did nothing except read, sun bathe, lick ice cream cones, watch movies, and walk along the seashore. Nowadays I struggle to imagine enjoying a vacation with so much downtime. I find relaxing difficult. But there is something wrong with that.

I find myself and see so many people I know hustling—for work, for family and the kids, to fit in things they enjoy. It is hard to feel present in an endless race against time. Breaks seem few and far between. Got a terrible head cold? Pop a pill and head into work because life must go on. This is not a judgement. I’m not better. But I want to be. I want to kick my feet up and chillax without worry about what I should be doing. We view injury, fatigue, and illness as a weakness. Surely, all of those things inhibit us for a time, but since we no longer live in the wild, I’m not sure they make us weak any longer. How we handle them might […]

Rest and relaxation2019-03-04T18:18:26-04:00

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

My Grandma at 88 on a Stability Ball.

Life and age can alter our perspective.  Years ago when my grandma was in her eighties, she hired a man to paint her house.  When talking to my mom, she would say that the “kid” kept taking breaks while he painted.  My mom pictured a kid slacking off, but then one day she was at my grandma’s house when the painter was there and the “kid” was in his sixties.  He may have thought or felt old, but my grandma, twenty years his elder, didn’t see it that way.

Recently, I was asking my grandma questions about her life.  One question was, “Who would you most like to have for dinner?”  Her response was, “Right who I have now.  My family.”  What is so spectacularly wonderful about that comment is that she actually has exactly what she wants.

When I responded to the same question, I wanted Mark Twain, Ben Franklin, or one of my dead ancestors that I never got to meet.  The people I would like to host will never come to dinner at my house.  My instinct was to reach for impossibility, […]

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner2018-05-04T16:30:03-04:00

Failure is the mother of success

Plank at sunset on Kili

While I can’t say I’m not bothered by failure, I can at least recognize that very often I get some of my best stories out of failures or at least times when things didn’t go as expected.

Still, failing is hard.  It’s hard to accept.  It’s hard to admit.  It’s embarrassing.  When I failed to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro those were a mixture of the emotions I experienced—embarrassment, frustration, sadness, disappointment, but also understanding and acceptance.

The moment I realized I wasn’t going to reach the top I started crying.  I don’t cry that often so I’m not really used to it.  And, normally if I need to cry in public I try not to.  There was no holding back these tears.  They just came.  I’d exerted too much energy getting this far to utilize any effort holding back tears now.  I’d lost control of my body, physically and emotionally.  I basically cried myself down that mountain, doing the walk of shame as everyone heading up stepped aside to let me down.

They were letting me pass, but I had let myself down.

Failure is the mother of success2018-02-14T16:12:52-04:00

Secret Wedding

A snapshot from just about 15 years ago. A snapshot from just about 15 years ago.

Matt and I have been together fifteen years today.  We are not married—a fact we don’t try and hide, but we also no longer correct people when they assume we are.  He is my boyfriend, my husband, my mate, my friend, and my partner depending on who is introducing us.

Though we don’t have a desire to get married, we decided we wanted an anniversary party to celebrate fifteen years.  I think we both thought if we didn’t get our families together in some way that one day we would regret it.  And I’m learning in life that we should never say no to celebrations.  Any excuse to celebrate is a good one.

The problem is when you send out invites to your closest friends and family who may have always hoped you would get married, some of them decide you are having a secret wedding.  I immediately got an email back, “Are you guys really getting married?”  No.  And that’s the last I’d heard of it until a few weeks later.  My mom was over and she […]

Secret Wedding2017-12-29T20:00:10-04:00