That’s Not A Word

Me & Matt

I’ve been with Matt for nearly 17 years and he never commented on this until today and neither has anyone else I’ve spoken to.  I mentioned to him that something stressing me out was giving me “agina.”  To which he finally replied, “That’s not a word.”

“Yes, it is,” I insisted.

“Nope, it’s agita.”

After a brief debate we searched for the answer online and the Google Gods proclaimed that agita is in fact a word for heartburn while agina is a word for nothing, unless I mean angina, which I don’t.  But I insisted: “Well, that’s not what I mean.  I don’t have heartburn.  This is giving me agina: an overall feeling of anxiousness.  It must be Italian.”

While not true, this seemed a plausible answer as my Italian-American family does use a number of random Italian words.  “Moosha moosh” describes when you just don’t feel great.  You are still willing to eat, but then you’ll want to lie down.  We say “Madone” which is the Italian swearword I know best.  […]

That’s Not A Word 2018-08-15T15:05:07+00:00

Plank Story: Do You Fart in Your Sleep?

My younger sister, stepmom, and I were flying to Dallas to visit my brother and sister-in-law and attend a baby shower for the first grandchild in my family.  We’d all be sharing a hotel room, so we discussed who would be sharing a bed in a room with two queen mattresses.

Cold at night, even in a Texas climate, my stepmom sleeps in many layers, including a cap.  But that doesn’t hinder your fellow sleepers.  She admitted to snoring, but a good snore you can hear from either bed.

My little sister basically sleeps like a rock, so she was the general winner in the group—the one everyone would want to sleep with.  However, though only I remember this, when we were little we’d sometimes sleep together and she would wake up covered in vomit, which I found repulsive.  She claimed she no longer vomited in her sleep and I tend to believe her.

It was determined I was the worst sleeping partner.  Sometimes while falling asleep, I twitch which can be off-putting to people.  I was told by my best friend on a cross country camping trip that I snuggle.  I’m a light […]

Plank Story: Do You Fart in Your Sleep? 2018-05-04T11:15:37+00:00

Plank Story: Moby Bring Sally Up

Matt will be very active with me.  He will hike, kayak, and a can be convinced to run once in a very rare while or if he’s worried I’m running somewhere unsafe.  While he likes movement, he loathes exercise.  Pilates would be great for him, but he’ll nearly never do it.  But I figured out his Achilles heel—the secret that will get Matt down on the mat. The trick involves Moby Bring Sally Up.

Last night I was inspired to sing to him, “Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be, close to you.”  Those were the only words I remembered, so I sang them on repeat.  His face shifted to this look of angsty compassion.  His cringing brow declared, “I love you, but the sound coming out of your voice is causing intense pain,”  He wouldln’t admit it, but his face, and the bleeding ears, couldn’t hide the reality.  At first I thought he might just not like the Carpenters.  But then I realized it was me.  I stopped singing and asked if he wanted to try this plank challenge I’d heard […]

Plank Story: Moby Bring Sally Up 2018-05-23T15:48:32+00:00

Straight Arm or Elbow Plank

Snap a picture doing your favorite version of plank and send it our way!

As humans we ponder many great philosophical questions of life such as what is the meaning of life? Or can we trust our own memories?  What is time?  What is reality?  And now we can add should I be doing a straight arm or elbow plank (aka forearm plank)?  People always want to know which is harder.

The Answer

Apparently, the answer to this seemingly simple question is as mind boggling as all the rest. Making the  answer: BOTH.  Alternating between both is important because the body requires, likes, and benefits from variety.

Read a book or look online and most places will tell you a straight arm plank is harder, but not all agree.  Clearly, this is a mystery.   In my body, there is no doubt in my mind that an elbow plank is considerably more challenging.  Everybody is different. But here are the facts we have.

Facts

An elbow plank works your abdominal muscles more.  Everyone agrees on that and you can probably feel it for yourself if you compare planks.

Elbow plank is easier on the wrists.  So if your […]

Straight Arm or Elbow Plank 2018-03-21T15:42:15+00:00

Morning Person

I pretty much still look exactly this good when I wake up in the morning.

I miss being a morning person.  Until turning thirty, I’d bound out of bed singing, “Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day!”  It would be animated—arms reaching up and everything.  That’s no exaggeration.  I’ve done that.  When I wasn’t singing, I’d wake up talking.  Matt, my boyfriend, used to call me Chatty Cathy.  When a crack of light creeped through the curtain, I’d just start: “I like the color purple.  Do you like the color purple?  What do you want to do today?  Did you see…?”  I’d open the curtains with a spunk and vivacity only exhibited in musical theater.  As I write that down, I realize Matt really should have left me by now.  He likes to sleep in and he moans every time actors break into song.

Sadly, I’m not the morning person I used to be, and it’s made me realize that the non-morning people in my life—Matt, my mom, and my best friend since childhood, Julie—must all really love me.  They are not naturally morning people.  And now, if I […]

Morning Person 2018-02-14T16:35:44+00:00