That’s Not A Word

Me & Matt

I’ve been with Matt for nearly 17 years and he never commented on this until today and neither has anyone else I’ve spoken to.  I mentioned to him that something stressing me out was giving me “agina.”  To which he finally replied, “That’s not a word.”

“Yes, it is,” I insisted.

“Nope, it’s agita.”

After a brief debate we searched for the answer online and the Google Gods proclaimed that agita is in fact a word for heartburn while agina is a word for nothing, unless I mean angina, which I don’t.  But I insisted: “Well, that’s not what I mean.  I don’t have heartburn.  This is giving me agina: an overall feeling of anxiousness.  It must be Italian.”

While not true, this seemed a plausible answer as my Italian-American family does use a number of random Italian words.  “Moosha moosh” describes when you just don’t feel great.  You are still willing to eat, but then you’ll want to lie down.  We say “Madone” which is the Italian swearword I know best.  […]

That’s Not A Word 2018-08-15T15:05:07+00:00

Plank Story: Do You Fart in Your Sleep?

My younger sister, stepmom, and I were flying to Dallas to visit my brother and sister-in-law and attend a baby shower for the first grandchild in my family.  We’d all be sharing a hotel room, so we discussed who would be sharing a bed in a room with two queen mattresses.

Cold at night, even in a Texas climate, my stepmom sleeps in many layers, including a cap.  But that doesn’t hinder your fellow sleepers.  She admitted to snoring, but a good snore you can hear from either bed.

My little sister basically sleeps like a rock, so she was the general winner in the group—the one everyone would want to sleep with.  However, though only I remember this, when we were little we’d sometimes sleep together and she would wake up covered in vomit, which I found repulsive.  She claimed she no longer vomited in her sleep and I tend to believe her.

It was determined I was the worst sleeping partner.  Sometimes while falling asleep, I twitch which can be off-putting to people.  I was told by my best friend on a cross country camping trip that I snuggle.  I’m a light […]

Plank Story: Do You Fart in Your Sleep? 2018-05-04T11:15:37+00:00

Self Love

Movement can be playful!

We are often our own hardest critic.  I know I am.  It’s my Type-A, entrepreneurial spirit. But no matter what our nature or our career path, I think we tend to be harsh with ourselves in a way many of us would never treat anyone else we care for.  We all need to give ourselves a little more self love.

In the past, I somewhat always thought this harshness was a motivator.  Apparently, I respond to drill sergeant mode.  Once upon a time that might have worked for me, but I’m attempting to be gentler with myself.  Partly, I’m just getting tired with age (did I admit that?).  Egging myself on is exhausting.  Plus every year it seems to become more and more obvious that life is too short to waste time being curt with myself. I’ve even drastically reduced my road rage because I came to recognize I was the only one hot and bothered.  The driver that would not let me merge was long gone.

That does not mean that I’m always successful.  It is in my nature to push through without a nap and struggle with […]

Self Love 2018-06-19T10:06:03+00:00

The Greatest Showman

I love musical theater.  Matt, my boyfriend, does not.  When we first started dating if we saw a musical together we both had a terrible time.  He hated the experience, and I could tell he was miserable which ruined it for me.  The third and final time we ever saw people singing together on stage, I realized that each time the actors inhaled to prepare for a note, Matt sighed heavily and audibly, like the last breath escaping a dying man.  He was completely unaware that he was perceptibly expressing his disdain for show tunes.

We stopped going to musicals with each other because I love him and wanted our relationship to last.  Also, I have other friends to enjoy them with.  Then earlier this year—roughly sixteen years since our last musical—we were out for dinner and looked quickly to see if any movies were playing near the restaurant.  If we rushed, we could get to The Greatest Showman, a movie about P.T. Barnum.  We both like a good history/bio flick so we rushed to the theater and sat just as the movie was starting.  Seconds later when the movie opened with […]

The Greatest Showman 2018-06-19T11:23:08+00:00

Plank Story: Moby Bring Sally Up

Matt will be very active with me.  He will hike, kayak, and a can be convinced to run once in a very rare while or if he’s worried I’m running somewhere unsafe.  While he likes movement, he loathes exercise.  Pilates would be great for him, but he’ll nearly never do it.  But I figured out his Achilles heel—the secret that will get Matt down on the mat. The trick involves Moby Bring Sally Up.

Last night I was inspired to sing to him, “Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be, close to you.”  Those were the only words I remembered, so I sang them on repeat.  His face shifted to this look of angsty compassion.  His cringing brow declared, “I love you, but the sound coming out of your voice is causing intense pain,”  He wouldln’t admit it, but his face, and the bleeding ears, couldn’t hide the reality.  At first I thought he might just not like the Carpenters.  But then I realized it was me.  I stopped singing and asked if he wanted to try this plank challenge I’d heard […]

Plank Story: Moby Bring Sally Up 2018-05-23T15:48:32+00:00