Secret Wedding

A snapshot from just about 15 years ago.

A snapshot from just about 15 years ago.

Matt and I have been together fifteen years today.  We are not married—a fact we don’t try and hide, but we also no longer correct people when they assume we are.  He is my boyfriend, my husband, my mate, my friend, and my partner depending on who is introducing us.

Though we don’t have a desire to get married, we decided we wanted an anniversary party to celebrate fifteen years.  I think we both thought if we didn’t get our families together in some way that one day we would regret it.  And I’m learning in life that we should never say no to celebrations.  Any excuse to celebrate is a good one.

The problem is when you send out invites to your closest friends and family who may have always hoped you would get married, some of them decide you are having a secret wedding.  I immediately got an email back, “Are you guys really getting married?”  No.  And that’s the last I’d heard of it until a few weeks later.  My mom was over and she said, speaking rapidly, “Two friends think you are having a secret wedding.  And they can’t make it to the party, but if you are getting married they want to be there.  I hadn’t even considered a secret wedding.  Are you having a secret wedding?”

“No,” I responded.

My mom: “Oh, my God, you’re having a secret wedding!”

Me (somewhat frantically as the conversation seemed to spin out of control): “Wait?  Didn’t you just hear me say no?  I said ‘no.’ We’re not having a secret wedding.”

Mom: “But your face said you were having a secret wedding.”

I laughed.  I have no idea what my face looked like in that moment.  But I suspect what she read as ‘there is in fact a secret wedding’ was me chuckling to myself that more friends were suspicious.   There is no secret wedding.  I told my mom that anyone who came to the party expecting a secret wedding was going to be disappointed.

There will be no wedding at this party, but plenty of love.  In that Matt and I are both lucky.  We found each other, and we both were raised by families who love us overwhelmingly.  They have all accepted our decision even if that isn’t their dream for us.  And, in that we are grateful.  To be loved and accepted by your family and a partner in life, in the end, there is no a greater gift.


About the Author:

Maggie Downie
Thank you for giving your time to stop and read my blog. I hope it encourages you to keep moving. Move and the body will be happier. And when you're moving you can hike, run, swim in Jell-O, race over non-Newtonian fluids, travel the world or build igloos--if that's your thing. If not, you can watch me do it. This is just a spot to try and feel good about life.


  1. Jane Gotowala November 3, 2016 at 7:09 am - Reply
  2. Barbara Bellas November 3, 2016 at 7:29 am - Reply

    Happy 15 years. I am overjoyed with happiness that you two found each other.
    Enjoy celebrating.

  3. Esteban November 3, 2016 at 7:46 am - Reply

    Happy Anniversary!!!, you both are extraordinary individuals whom make a wonderful couple. To 15+ more!

  4. Deborah Bax November 3, 2016 at 10:10 am - Reply

    Thank goodness you cleared that up!!!! LOL Truly looking forward to the celebration of your love. The love you and Matt share is demonstrated by your respect for each other and the obvious fun you continue to share. Love you both.

  5. Charlotte November 3, 2016 at 2:00 pm - Reply

    Happy 15 year Anniversary to you and Matt! You are a fabulous couple!! Celebrate this!!

  6. Lisa November 3, 2016 at 9:56 pm - Reply

    Happy anniversary!!❤️

  7. Kristiina November 5, 2016 at 3:57 am - Reply

    Wish I could have been there! Cant wait to see you guys in the Summer! Lots of love to you both xxxx

Leave A Comment